McKenna was born in 2008, Tony and I were very newly married, and didn’t know a whole lot about having a baby. I came into the hospital, wanting a drug free birth, but without tools to help me accomplish it. They admitted me when I was only a 2, my OB wanted to induce me anyways, because Kenna was “8.5 pounds, and very big”. After a few hours at the hospital, they prepped me for a C-section “just in case”. I had the “Business of Being Born” labor, and delivery; pitocin, epidural, slightly distressed baby, “failure of progress”, she was also posterior, which gave me back labor. After 36 hours of labor, they delivered our beautiful, 6 pound 12 ounce daughter via cesarean section.
Sad moment, getting wheeled
in for the section.
Liam was born in 2011, after 2+ years of reading about VBAC’s, and finding an amazing midwife, I felt much more prepared for his birth. We went back and forth on homebirth vs. hospital birth nearly the whole pregnancy. My midwife was confident in me, and Tony was supportive, but nervous. When we were finally in labor, he was posterior, and labor was stop and go, and very intense at points. I labored with my midwife and at home for the first day, and rested for quite a while when labor had paused (Friday). Labor started again the next day, and we finally made the choice to head to the hospital late Saturday night. Things were going well, just slow, and after 50 hours of labor, with back pain, and passing kidney stones, I said the typical “give me drugs!” After receiving the epidural, similar to Kenna’s labor, things stopped progressing, and Liam went from a +1, back to a -3. After 17 more hours, our chunky 8 pound 6 ounce boy was finally here via repeat section(Monday). Although I was not able to have a VBAC, his birth was a much better experience than McKenna’s, and it was a somewhat healing experience.
Getting wheeled to have Liam.
Despite others opinions, and lack of knowledge/faith about me attempting a VBA2C, I knew I was going to at least try. I had read more on VBAC’s/VBA2C’s, the risks, success stories, and was going for it. Tony at times said “why can’t we just schedule the csection?”, but I wanted God to pick our baby’s birthday. I was set on having a homebirth, however, after talking with my midwife (the one who helped with Liam’s birth), she encouraged me to go to a Dr. who had a high VBAC/low cesarean rate.
At some appointments, I felt very discouraged that he wouldn’t let me even try, and at some I felt encouraged that he was going to help make it happen. Towards the end of the pregnancy, with every fundal measurement, he was telling me that my baby would be big, and told me about other women, like myself, who were set on VBAC’s, but ended up with csections, because the baby was too big. I tried not to get down, but I was getting very frustrated. Then a friend of mine with the same Dr. ended up having a repeat section in her VBAC attempt, and it seemed that people who were due around the same time, were having repeat or their first csections, which was making it extra difficult to be excited about my upcoming delivery. We decided to keep the gender a surprise, to give me an extra focal point for labor. Another way I wanted to prepare was to hire a doula, but we were not financially able to afford one. I applied for Bloom scholarships, but was not chosen. We prayed daily that God would provide, and give me the desire of my heart (allow me to have a vaginal birth), and He provided us with a doula! I was so shocked and excited, and felt better about the possibility of a VBAC.
February 20th, it seemed my contractions had FINALLY started to increase in intensity, so I thought “here we go!”. Tony took our two other children out, and I spent a few hours nesting, to prepare for our baby. At 9pm, I got into bed, so that I could get some sleep incase it was the real thing. From 9pm to 6am I had contractions every 5 minutes, but they were still fairly mild, so I did my best to sleep. At 6am contractions had spaced out, and became inconsistent, and I was a little discouraged. Pamala (Embracing Your Birth; birth doula services) said “Maybe your body needs the break. Our bodies are so smart :-)”, and that really encouraged me. Tony let his work know that we were thinking we were in labor, and spent the day at home with me. Because of the similarities in this labor with my previous, I was getting nervous, and really wanted to see the chiropractor to help align my body, so that baby would be in the right position. Problem was, I didn’t have insurance to cover chiropractic, and I had not seen one so I wasn’t able to afford a consultation. My amazing friend, called her chiropractor, and was able to get me in without having to pay a consultation! So I got adjusted, and slept the rest of the morning and afternoon. I drank a lot of fluids, and tried to eat as often as I could, because I knew once in the hospital I would not be able to eat, and didn't want an IV. Around 2pm they started getting closer together again, and I continued to rest between them. Around 5pm I texted Pamala to find out when I should have her come over, and was needing more support from Tony, because contractions were intensifying. Pamala got to our house about 5:30, and just hung out and observed what was going on. After about an hour she said she thought we should head to the hospital. I didn’t feel ready, because I felt like it was still pretty early, but she said the drive would only be worse the further into labor I was (we had a 30-45 minute drive). Before we got to the hospital we decided that if I was a 4 or less, we would leave, and walk. When we arrived at the hospital I was only a 4, but when they checked me again I was a 5, so we stayed.
The next hours until he was born I had no concept of time, so details are a little fuzzy. We knew that my Dr was not on call that night, but that the OB who delivered Pamala’s youngest child was, so I felt encouraged to know that she knew him. When Dr. Hardy came in to meet me, he told me that he wanted me to have my homebirth, but in the safety of the hospital... I loved him already! The nurses were also amazing, they had read my birth plan, and did their best to respect all my desires. I was able to keep myself hydrated during labor, and instead of an IV they just gave me a saline lock. What I remember for the active labor was making Tony, and Pamala run constantly to the microwave heating my rice bag (such a life saver), because I was having that familiar back labor. I also remember Tony eating a snickers for dinner, and myself changing positions from bed, to ball, to standing a lot. I got to a point where I asked the nurse if I could have some morphine, she said “the good news is you are dilated to a 6, the bad news is you are too far dilated to get any drugs through your saline lock.” Only being a 6 made me feel pretty defeated. I felt like I had been in labor for a really long time, and things weren't progressing. Finally I got to a point where I thought maybe it would be best to have the Dr break my water. I was really hesitant, because I was hoping it would happen on its own, and in my previous 2 labors breaking my water did nothing to help labor along. When he came in to break it, he said it was really tight, and he definitely thought breaking it would bring baby down. After that things did get more intense! I continued to change positions, and I remember Pamala giving me an amazing foot rub. Then I started feeling like I needed to push, so they checked me, and I was an 8! The nurse started bringing in things for delivery, and that was something that I had never been able to see with my other children. Pamala was encouraging me saying that they were prepping for delivery, but it was all so new, and I felt I still had a ways to go, and didn’t know if it would even happen. At this point I was getting frustrated, because I was convinced that I needed to poop. They told me to go ahead and try, and nothing would happen. I felt like I tried forever, and then I was not just trying to poop, but I was trying to push baby out, and it wasn’t time. When the nurses would leave, I would ask Tony, and Pamala for an epidural. At one point I even said to Pamala “I’m not asking for a csection, I’m asking for an epidural!” I was very stressed, because she was telling me to relax and not push with contractions, and I felt like I couldn’t. She told me to blow out air as bad as the urge was, and I did. Sometimes I was able to make it, and sometimes I couldn’t concentrate. Around this time I remember Tony eating chili cheese fritos across the room, and being able to smell them, and then when he was helping me with my breathing that’s all I could smell...but it distracted me! They gave me an IV, because they felt that it would help stabilize baby’s heart rate having some extra fluid. The nurses brought in a toilet commode, so that I could continue to try and “poop”, and still be close to the monitors and bed. I was really starting to lose focus, and had to stare at the baby monitor, so that when a contraction came I wouldn’t push (when I did push the baby’s heart rate went down from 150 to 80!).
I was getting to a point where I felt like I couldn’t hold back from pushing, so Pamala asked if I wanted to be checked again. I really did, but I was afraid I would not be dilated enough and have to keep trying to make it through without pushing. Everything happened so fast once they came into check me. She checked me, and called another nurse in to basically confirm whatever it was she felt. The next nurse came in, and they told me to push. She told someone to hit the nurses button, and said “prepare for delivery”. And then I was able to do what I have wanted to do for a very long time... push! I was pushing with all my strength, and it was amazing to finally not have to hold back. Pretty quickly the Dr. was there, and said that he thought he should do an episiotomy. I had read a lot, and had wanted to avoid the episiotomy, and tear naturally if at all. He told me that if he did the episiotomy the baby would basically come right out, so I agreed. After 15-20 minutes of pushing our baby was delivered, Tony said “it’s a boy!”, and they placed him right into my arms, the most amazing feeling in the entire world! Everyone kept saying he was a big boy, but I was thinking he seemed about the same size as our other son (8lbs 6oz). So they weighed him and he was 10 POUNDS 2 ounces, I couldn’t believe it! On top of that, we had only been at the hospital for around 11 hours. What I thought was a slow progressing labor, was actually my fastest!
Right after they gave him to me.
I must have said “I did it” a hundred times, and just kept weeping! Not only did God allow me to have the greatest desire of my heart, but He made it happen with my largest baby! My encouragement for others desiring a VBAC, or even just a vaginal delivery, get a doula! There are not words that can express the importance of having a doula. Pamala, was exactly what we needed. She filled in the gaps where we didn’t know what to do, and gave us a consistent feeling of safety, when everything was so new! If I could do it all over again, I would, and I plan to with our future children.
THAT was awesome. :)
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